[JHeath]

http://thenewsdispatch.com/main.asp?Sectio...amp;TM=38203.29

5/7/2008 10:00:00 AM
Parents, You Are Not Alone

by Deb Carpenter
Partners In Education

Am I a good parent? Am I doing too much for my children? Am I involved enough in their lives? Am I involved in their school enough? When they get in trouble, was there something I did or didn't do?

Like you, being a parent is only one of the hats I wear, but it is one of the most important.

I taught at the high school years ago. I've been an elementary counselor for 13 years and my son just started high school. I was thankful they started freshman orientation this year. Being "in the system," I've always been able to know, or find out easily, what's going on in his school and social life. The orientation helped me put faces to names and the MCHS Web site also helped.

I know that part of being a good parent is staying on top of my children's social and academic progress. I'm the nosy parent asking who are you talking to and my husband is still trying to figure out why our daughter needs to talk on the phone while talking on MSN messenger. I'm the parent who would rather the kids came to our house or went to the beach with me.

A couple of years ago I went to a workshop, "Amanda's Story" about the daughter of a podiatrist from Valparaiso who overdosed on heroin. The doctor said over and over, if he had randomly drug tested his child, she would be alive today. Last month I did what I've always told my children I'd do, I went to the health department and picked up a drug test kit and a Breathalyzer.

When I tell people this they look at me weird. My rationale and what I told my children is that when someone asks to drink or smoke something (and they will) they are to respond, "Sorry my mom randomly drug tests me, so I can't."

Are we good parents? I don't know. We try our best to be consistent in our discipline, apologize when we are wrong and keep lines of communication open. We contact teachers, counselors or principals to get a better understanding of what's going on at school. We make sure we get to know our children's friends and their parents. And we pray for ourselves and our children. I just want you know that you are not alone.



Partners in Education is sponsored by the Michigan City Education Association. Debbie Carpenter is a counselor at Springfield Elementary School.

[Ang]

I have drug tested my son. He's passed every time!! He's such a good boy!

[Roger Kaputnik]

How common is drug testing of one's kids? I have thought about it but never did it.

[Ang]

I guess a lot of parents around here do it. We have a huge meth problem here, so parents pay close attention.
At first I thought my boy would be mad at me, you know the whole "you don't trust me" gamut. But, he was opposite. He happily took the drug test and was very proud and gloating over the fact that he passed. His attitude was, "See! I TOLD you I don't use drugs, now I've proved it!" Then he told all his friends.

[Roger Kaputnik]

Hmmm. I wonder how my kids would react? I am gonna ask them about it, and I can post the result.