Joke Thread, ...just jokes, no comments allowed... |
Joke Thread, ...just jokes, no comments allowed... |
Nov 21 2008, 09:30 AM
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#1
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Members Posts: 3,237 Joined: 8-December 06 From: MC Member No.: 3 |
Chaudhary, the landlord: Hey, what happened to your head?
Khan, the Pathan gardner: Well, Sahib, I was coming back from Peshawar, and the darn cart I got a ride in had a nail sticking out of the sideboard. We hit every rut in the road and bounced all over, and every time the cart jostled, the nail poked my head and scratched me up. Chaudhary: Why didn't you trade seats with someone? Khan: There was no one else on the cart! The difference between genius and stupidity is that there are limits to genius. Albert Einstein
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Nov 21 2008, 10:19 AM
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#2
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 253 Joined: 25-December 07 Member No.: 756 |
I need a ruling, please...
Can I use the s-word (crap, poop, you know) only because it helps the joke? Thanks, my wrinkled cortexed, free speech friends. "If a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." - Duke of Edinburgh.
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Nov 21 2008, 10:41 AM
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#3
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Members Posts: 3,237 Joined: 8-December 06 From: MC Member No.: 3 |
In my opinion, that is fine.
Admin, is it possible to edit this thread to eliminate any comments like post #2 and this one? Also, for future reference, in a joke thread we assume there will be language and situations not discussed in mixed company. It is ok here. The difference between genius and stupidity is that there are limits to genius. Albert Einstein
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Nov 21 2008, 11:25 AM
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#4
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Admin Posts: 5,171 Joined: 11-December 06 From: Indiana Member No.: 10 |
I'm okay with that. And yes, we can delete posts or edit them if we need to, but you know we don't like to do that. Free speech and all.....
May I suggest that off color words have some letters substituted with symbols, such as "sh*t"? Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Suess
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Nov 21 2008, 11:29 AM
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#5
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Admin Posts: 16,426 Joined: 8-December 06 From: Michigan City, IN Member No.: 2 |
I'm okay with that. And yes, we can delete posts or edit them if we need to, but you know we don't like to do that. Free speech and all..... May I suggest that off color words have some letters substituted with symbols, such as "sh*t"? I would even rather leave the second post and the subsequent discussion in here so that people know where the lines are. |
Nov 21 2008, 12:04 PM
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#6
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Members Posts: 3,237 Joined: 8-December 06 From: MC Member No.: 3 |
Sure, but please, no more comments--only jokes.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that there are limits to genius. Albert Einstein
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Nov 21 2008, 12:26 PM
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#7
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Admin Posts: 5,171 Joined: 11-December 06 From: Indiana Member No.: 10 |
Two blonds are walking through the forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
The first blond looks down and says, "Those are deer tracks." The second blond says, "Nuh-uh, they're bear tracks." And they both got hit by the train. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Suess
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Nov 21 2008, 12:42 PM
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#8
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Members Posts: 3,237 Joined: 8-December 06 From: MC Member No.: 3 |
Yo mama is so fat she has to haul ass with both hands!
The difference between genius and stupidity is that there are limits to genius. Albert Einstein
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Nov 21 2008, 01:10 PM
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#9
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 253 Joined: 25-December 07 Member No.: 756 |
An old blind man was sitting on a street in Jerusalem, begging for help. A man walks by, and seeing the old Jew's plight, hands him a piece of matzoh. The beggar takes it in his hands and begins to laugh, asking,
"Who wrote this shit?" "If a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." - Duke of Edinburgh.
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Nov 21 2008, 04:53 PM
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#10
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Really Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 1,829 Joined: 11-January 07 From: Kobe, Japan Member No.: 18 |
A duck walks into a pharmacy - says "Give me some chapstick - and put it on my bill."
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Nov 21 2008, 05:03 PM
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#11
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Really Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 1,829 Joined: 11-January 07 From: Kobe, Japan Member No.: 18 |
From The Great Carnac Carnac: The answer - specimen. Ed. McMahon: Specimen Carnac: THe question - what do you call an Italian astronaut? |
Nov 21 2008, 10:28 PM
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#12
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Really Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 1,829 Joined: 11-January 07 From: Kobe, Japan Member No.: 18 |
A horse walks into a bar - bartender comes over and says so - why the long face?
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Nov 21 2008, 11:19 PM
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#13
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Really Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 1,829 Joined: 11-January 07 From: Kobe, Japan Member No.: 18 |
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Nov 22 2008, 12:54 PM
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#14
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 253 Joined: 25-December 07 Member No.: 756 |
A sandwich walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food." "If a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." - Duke of Edinburgh.
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Nov 22 2008, 09:16 PM
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#15
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Getting Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 35 Joined: 2-November 08 Member No.: 832 |
Three blondes walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
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Nov 23 2008, 02:09 AM
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#16
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Admin Posts: 5,171 Joined: 11-December 06 From: Indiana Member No.: 10 |
Three strings are walking down the street one summer day. They get hot and thirsty and decide to go for a beer. The walk for a while before they find a bar and are really thirsty. There's a sign on the door that says, "No strings allowed"
The first one says, "I know I can talk him into it. Give me a second..." and he goes inside. A couple minutes later he comes back out and says, "No dice, guys. That guy is tough." The second one says, "Well, I'm a charmer, I'll talk him into it." and he goes inside. Just a few minutes later he comes flying out the door and says, "You ain't kidding! That guy IS tough!" The third string decides he will try a different tactic. He gets himself all bunched up in a knot, floofs out his top half and goes inside. He walks up to the bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for a cold draught. The bartender says, "Aren't you a string?" and the string says, "Nope, I'm frayed knot." Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Suess
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Nov 29 2008, 11:37 PM
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#17
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Getting Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 32 Joined: 26-June 07 From: Farmers Branch, TX Member No.: 343 |
OK, forgive me if you heard this one...
This guy is walking along a trail next to a cliff... Walking... Walking... Suddenly he falls over the cliff! Screaming and grabbing at the air he suddenly grabs hold of a small branch sticking out of the cliff! Hanging there on the side of the cliff he sizes up his predicament.... "Hellllp! Helllllllp!" he shouts. He suddenly hears a voice from the heavens, "Hello!" "Who's that?" he asks. "God" comes the reply. "Do you trust me?" God asks. "Yes Lord, of course I do!" he replies... "Then let go!" God says..... He asks "Uhhhhh..... Is there anyone else up there?" |
Nov 30 2008, 02:32 PM
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#18
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Really Comfortable Group: Members Posts: 627 Joined: 9-February 07 Member No.: 41 |
A skeleton walks in a bar and says "Can I get a beer and a mop"
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Dec 1 2008, 08:30 AM
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#19
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 426 Joined: 10-October 08 Member No.: 826 |
Women Who Read
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "isn't that obvious?") "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day madam", and he left............. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt Nothing is worth more than this day!
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Dec 1 2008, 10:17 AM
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#20
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Spends WAY too much time at CBTL Group: Members Posts: 3,237 Joined: 8-December 06 From: MC Member No.: 3 |
Three Board Administrators go into a bar, laughing, celebrating, and happy as can be. After ordering a couple rounds of drinks, and continuing their exuberant celebration, they got the bartender's curiosity up.
He comes over to their table, and says, "You seem pretty happy about something and celebrating well. Can I ask why?" "Well, of course," one answered, "just to get a break from all the pinheads posting, we have been getting together to work puzzles. Well, we finally finished our first one, and it only took six weeks! and on the box, it says 'four to seven years!'" The difference between genius and stupidity is that there are limits to genius. Albert Einstein
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