[Southsider2k12]

http://thenewsdispatch.com/articles/2011/0...45994045938.txt

Local group wants to end bullying

Anti-Bullying Coalition co-founder Candice Silvas (left) talks with Amy King and co-founder Cari Adams about spreading the word on their efforts. Photo by Alicia Ebaugh.
By Alicia Ebaugh
Staff Writer
Published: Saturday, April 9, 2011 5:06 PM CDT
MICHIGAN CITY — Almost every parent has a story about their children being bullied at school. A group of Michigan City mothers wants to end that.

"Our fight is against people who say there will always be bullying," said Cari Adams, a mother of twin 5-year-olds and an 8-year-old girl who has co-founded the new Anti-Bullying Coalition. "It shouldn't be a norm in our society. One instance of bullying is too many."

Adams reached out to her Purdue University-North Central classmate Candice Silvas just a few weeks ago after she noticed a rash of students nationwide who committed suicide after being repeatedly picked on by their classmates. The two sent letters to public and private school leaders and started a Facebook page, where they have already reached more than 200 area parents and others across the country. And the stories have come pouring out.

"I immediately started receiving private messages and posts regarding what other people's children have gone through," Adams said. "It's not just one school, it's not just in Michigan City. It's everywhere."

Michigan City resident Amy King was one of the women who came across their Facebook page. King is currently trying to get a medical transfer to a different elementary school within Michigan City Area Schools for her 5-year-old daughter, who she said has been repeatedly taunted, spit on, hit and kicked by a group of boys. But the behavior continued without King's knowledge until a few weeks ago, when the girl came down with a stomachache and refused to go to school.

"I took her to the doctor, and I found out my little girl had been throwing away her lunches at school and not eating at home because the boy who had been bullying her all year long and a group of his friends started oinking at her and calling her fat pig whenever she sat down to lunch. She said that if she didn't eat that she would lose weight and they would stop calling her fat," King recalled tearfully.

At some point, her daughter told the doctor, two of the boys held her down so another boy could touch her private area over her underwear.

"It made me feel like a bad parent, like I couldn't protect her," King said.

The process to move her, King said, has been emotional. She feels the school district hasn't been cooperative and has tried to convince her to keep the girl where she is.

"Her psychologist said she shouldn't go back there," King said. "I'm keeping her out of school until this is resolved."

MCAS spokeswoman Betsy Kohn said the school district takes bullying seriously, and that meetings involving all sides are held to discuss problems when parents communicate clearly with administrators about what their children are facing. Although privacy rules bar her from discussing particular cases, Kohn said the district's process for parents seeking school transfers for their kids is to try to work through the problem first.

"Our counselors encourage children to tell an adult if they are being bullied or see it happening. Parents need to contact teachers and counselors right away so they can intervene," she said.

Silvas and Adams have reasons of their own to be concerned about bullying, as well. This school year, Silvas' sixth-grade son was bruised when some older boys who sat behind him on the bus grabbed his neck. Another time a different groups of boys kept asking him if he was gay. Adams' daughter, who is constantly teased for being petite, was once told not to get up from her seat when she saw her little brother being choked by another boy. Both women had success contacting school officials and putting an end to the problem, but that doesn't mean it hasn't affected their children.

"Since the weather has gotten warmer, (my son) has insisted on walking home from school instead of riding the bus," Silvas said. "It's really upset him."

With their letter to MCAS Superintendent Barbara Eason-Watkins, the women submitted what they called a "behavior rubric" used by several school districts that specifies an order of consequences for different kinds of bullying.

"There should be defined consequences for bullying, so everyone knows what will happen if one child teases or hits another," Adams said. "If everyone is aware of the consequences, maybe all types of bullying, including cyberbullying, wouldn't be as prevalent."

MCAS guidelines provide for consequences ranging from in-school suspension to expulsion, Kohn said, but all instances of bullying are considered on a case-by-case basis. Jan Radford, K-12 curriculum director, said all MCAS schools have some type of anti-bullying program that teaches conflict resolution and provides peer mediation. The programs are tailored to each school, but Radford said each outline students' responsibility for their own behavior and the safety of others.

"Our goal is getting kids thinking about how their actions impact other children," she said.

The Anti-Bullying Coalition is set to meet with Eason-Watkins next week to talk about the possibility of working together, Adams said.

"It's very exciting to see everything coming together so fast," she said. "We're by no means experts, but we're parents who care and are reaching out so we can put an end to this problem. We can't change the system by ourselves."

The group's goal is to become a non-profit organization that will act as advocates for the bullied in school meetings, hold workshops and create a network of helpful local resources for children and parents involved in bullying situations, including counselors, play groups and lawyers. Find more information on the Anti-Bullying Coalition at www.facebook.com/AntiBullyingCoalition.

[Ang]

My daughter is a self-proclaimed "Bully Bullier and Defender of the Underdog" (her words) She will come to the rescue of anyone she sees being bullied and has been known to confront &/or attack bullies with no regard for herself. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten into any trouble at school--I guess she's discreet
She is so well known that people come to her seeking rescue from bullies. Boys, girls, it matters not. If some one is being picked on or bullied, my daughter it there to stop it.